A year later. I miss him so much. All I have are our memories together. Is it odd that one gets to figure an end for their path in their 20s? I get overwhelmed more often in isolation. Used to scrabble those tiny words on the back of my notebooks in class; sneaking, hiding. Why did it happen that when one was younger, one was as brave as the Sun (?) I am now shying away as that big stone in the sky. How mediocre does that read to you? How come I did not mind academia ruining my sense of self all these years? Was that academia or bad parenting? A well-established director tells us the other day about being true to ourselves in every decision we make. Little did he know how that very motto is tiring and weary to live with. My psychological age is practically 79. I realised just today that I have wasted a lot of time in school (s). I realised I let myself be manipulated by bosses, headmasters, charismatic people who happen to be only so from afar: How loathsome it is to live in such a ...